Christopher Kauffman (17) is a staff writer for Youngspeak. He has the least experience of being a human in the Youngspeak group, yet holds the Youngspeak record for most letters in one name. He is an Atlanta Braves, Kansas City Royals, Atlanta Falcons, Kansas City Chiefs, Atlanta Hawks, Oklahoma City Thunder, and Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets fan. That’s a lot, right? Well, that’s the case if you have two hometowns. Because he was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and raised in Eatonton, Georgia, Chris has many teams. Christopher will cover the WWE, MLB, NFL, NBA, and NCAFF; he’ll also provide insight on his unusual multitude of favorite teams.
With the awareness of JaVale McGee and the athleticism of Kendrick Perkins, Chris is a former football, baseball, basketball, and track star. Sure, he has his moments, but he makes stupid mistakes that make him look like a fool. Due to this, he has permanently retired to the fan section where he plans to be as obnoxious as possible.
He is incredibly critical towards his Atlanta teams and highly proud of his Kansas teams. He has a love-hate relationship with Atlanta. He loves his city and many of the players, but he hates the dumb mistakes that they make. As a fan sitting on his couch, he naturally knows how to run a team better than the people who are being paid to do so professionally. However, pretty much everyone knows how to create a more interesting storyline than the WWE writing staff.
Oh yeah, let’s address the elephant in the room… Chris is a fan of professional wrestling. He started watching the WWE in 2005 and fell in love immediately. So what if they’re not actually hitting each other? It is still enjoyable and entertaining. When wrestling is bad, it is BAD. Conversely, when wrestling is good, it is GREAT. His favorite wrestler is the keeper of the powers of the darkness, The Undertaker. He is hyper-critical of the WWE’s writers and could possibly write better television than half of the staff. Also, a firm supporter of #GiveDivasAChance.
He has been told that he is a talented writer and vocalist, yet he does not see it. Also, he is possibly the meanest nice-person you will ever meet. Sarcasm is his second language. He will not hesitate to give it to you the old country way if you step out of line. What does that mean? If you cross him, his family, or his friends, he will waste no time to put you in the camel clutch to break your back and make you humble. #TeamShiekie
“I’m not sensitive. I give people things exactly the way they are, and if they’re ready to absorb it, they will, and if they aren’t, they won’t.”
– 50 Cent